Nipples the Enchilada and Hatsune Miku Commit War Crimes
by TheKnucklesChaotix1
Summary: Nipples the Enchilada and Hatsune Miku commit war crimes under the Geneva Convention in the state of Rhode Island.


Nipples awoke.

"Fuck," he said joyously. "I forgot to turn my oven off."

To his excitement, his house in Rhode Island was on fire. He exited his bedroom and found that every single room in his house had been burnt to a charred crisp minus his bedroom, which was miraculously still standing.

"Nice," observed Nipples, scratching his supple, red ass. "Now I have nothing else left to lose!"

"You have nothing," Nipples' cat said to him.

"When the fuck did I have a cat?" he shidded. "Oh wait, that's just the heroin tapering off."

The cat dematerialized in front of his eyes, disappearing into the burning embers of the house.

"Oh cool," Nipples continued. "Now I really have nothing left to lose."

He lost everything; his cum-caked My Little Pony collection, his vintage porno magazines, the jar of piss he got at a Macklemore concert, the Master Emerald, his skeleton that he kept in his closet with a fleshlight jammed into the pelvic bone and an Iparty wig hot glued to it in haste, everything. All he had to show was his rock-hard fist-nipples.

Nipples looked down at his rock-hard fist-nipples. They were perkier than ever with the adrenaline of the past 10 minutes. "My fist-nipples are rock-hard."

Truth be told, his nipples were his best friends. They had been with him every step of the way, through the thick and thin of his life. He never had any friends, mostly because he smelled like shit, had the personality of a cum-hungry rat that was missing 2 toes, and because you could smell the chlamydia coming from his four headed "cock." But his nipples were his ride or die bitches that could make him cum in an instant. Bet you didn't see that coming. Swag. Yolo. 420.

David Goldenberg passed away.

There was a knock at Nipples' burned down door.

"Wow, I have guests," Nipples commented. "Too bad I lost my house as well as all my personal belongings in a tragic fire just moments ago."

He opened the door, despite the door not even being there. Who was behind the door?

It was Nipples the Enchilada. He was looking into a conveniently placed mirror. That's pretty convenient.

"Hey, sexy," Nipples told himself. It was because he found himself sexy, since nobody else did. He truly had nothing else left to lose. His whole life was a mess. His wife and children left him for Silver the Hedgehog the night before his birthday. He was kicked out and was forced to drink various and probably dangerous liquids from a homeless man's asshole every night to survive. He was $970,001 in debt with the government. He even stole the seven Chaos Emeralds from Barack Obama. Now that his house burned to the ground, he had nothing left. His life was a fucking wreck, and all he had to show for it were his rock hard nipple fists.

Hatsune Miku emerged. She was munching on an entire head of lettuce.

"I hope for your sake that's organic," he told her. The two of them had been in a loving, committed relationship for three years now.

"Nipples the Enchilada I am going to pee in your mouth with eight inch long penis and then i will stick it inside your ass and turn you inside out as I fuck you so hard that it opens up a dimensional rift and an alternate version of me comes out and double penetrates you," she replied in english. She normally only spoke Japanese.

"Alright, cool. Go for it," Nipples replied. So she did, but Nipples did not cum. He never jizzed because he was neutered.

After they were done brutally fucking, they went to Taco Bell. While they were there, Nipples asked her an important question.

"Did you burn my house down?" he asked.

"No," replied Miku.

"Oh, okay," Nipples said. Even though Hatsune Miku was a serial arsonist that was wanted by the federal government of various countries and considered a war criminal under the Geneva Convention, Nipples wasn't very smart.

He failed out of kindergarten at the age of 19. His entire family had already passed away at that point. It was because Shadow the Hedgehog ate them all. Shadow was just a hungry man, always horny for some vore.

Nipples remembered the day very clearly.

"Damn," he remembered Shadow saying. "I love vore."

"And I love absolutely nothing," Nipples replied as he watched Shadow eat his family right in front of him on the day he dropped out of kindergarten. He wishes he could cum to the thought, but alas, he lacked a sack.

Back in the present, Miku fucked a cheesy gordita crunch as she rapped along to Fuck The World by Insane Clown Posse, except in an autotuned Vocaloid voice. Nipples thought it was pretty hot. Nothing made him hornier than the thought of dating a war criminal, or it would have if he could get horny. But alas, he lacked a sack.

"Boy, it's kinda chilly today, huh?" he told her since he was unable to get horny. "I wish I was horny right now. But alas, I lack a sack."

"I'm gonna beat the shit out of you with a stick," she replied. "You are a shit head, Nipples the Enchilada. Let's have sex."

So they fucked in the middle of the Taco Bell. She fucked his ass like it was a poptart on Halloween. Unfortunately, Nipples did not cum, as he lacked a sack. Unfortunate indeed. For the sackless Nipples, he had to make do with being the bottom. Good thing he loved his anime girlfriend's massive 8 inch, vascular throbbing absolute unit.

David Goldenberg passed away.

After they fucked and Hatsune Miku jizzed in the cheese container behind the counter, they decided to commit a war crime. This was their favorite date idea.

They hopped into the Nipplesmobile, Nipples' special car. Unfortunately, he could not drive, as he lacked a sack. Miku drove, since she was the top.

"Being straight is so much fun, isn't it Miku?" Nipples asked.

"Nipples the Enchilada you are a disgusting little man," she told him. "We will fuck right now."

So they fucked again. Alas, Nipples did not cum, as usual, since he lacked a sack. His tight sphincter made Miku cum inside of him. As usual, he became pregnant. Miku did nothing to help aleviate his abortion addiction, as they drove to the nearest Planned Parenthood and got his third abortion that day.

After Nipples and Miku got an abortion, Miku impregnated Nipples again. Luckily, they were already in the Planned Parenthood.

"Let's commit that war crime now, Miku," Nipples told her.

"Suck my scrote, you four week old can of Mountain Dew-smelling bitch," she replied. "You don't even have a sack of your own."

"You're right!" Nipples cheerfully exclaimed. "I wish I was dead."

"Me too," Miku replied.

They finally arrived outside of the federal prison for prisoners of war. Instead of breaking in like an inexperienced war criminal would do, they walked in the front door and shot all the guards point blank in the scrotum with a paintball gun, knocking their sacks clean off. They all fell to the floor and then went home, as the despair of losing their precious balls was too much for them to handle.

"It's not even that bad," Nipples whined. Alas, he lacked a sack.

The couple wandered through the hallowed halls of the penitentiary, where prisoners of war from the ongoing war on sobriety led by president Connor J were being held. One such prisoner was Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers.

Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers looked much different in prison attire than his usual Green Bay Packers uniform; but this was an easier outfit to conceal kilos of cocaine hidden up his asshole so he could sell it to his fellow inmates in exchange for racy photos of his good pal Eddie Lacey of the Green Bay Packers. When he got out of this hellhole for committing acts of hazing and possibly terrorism, he'd ravage Eddie Lacey of the Green Bay Packers' tight little submissive ass.

Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers chortled when he saw them and chucked a box of convenience store chili powder at their heads. This was a process known as hazing, the reason he was currently a prisoner of war.

"Hello, Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers," Nipples the Enchilada ejaculated (metaphorically, since he lacked a sack).

"Hello, Nipples the Enchilada," replied Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers. "Hello, Vocaloid Hatsune Miku."

"Hello, Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers," said Vocaloid Hatsune Miku. "We are here to torture you."

"Nice," replied Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers. He chortled heartily. "Here's the key to my cell."

He reached into the pocket and gave them the key to the cell. Being the quarterback of the Green Bay Packers before he was thrown in the slammer, he practically owned the place.

"Thank you, Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers," said Nipples the Enchilada as Hatsune Miku took the key.

"You're very welcome, Nipples the Enchilada," replied Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers with a chortle.

Once they made it inside the cell, Nipples the Enchilada pinned down Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers and Hatsune Miku procured a pail of water from her gaping asshole. She just poured water onto the face of Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers like it was a water bottle filled with piss as he coughed and sputtered whilst chortling heartily.

"How do you like that, bitch?" Miku snarled.

Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers continued to chortle for half an hour as Miku poured water onto his face continually.

"I love being tortured within an inch of my life," commented Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers. This was his favorite part of team practices back home in Green Bay, besides the hazing. Waterboarding Wednesdays were a major thing up there, being declared a national holiday in honor of Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers. There was also Fingernail Hammering Friday and Scaphism Sunday, the holy day.

"Me too!" Nipples the Enchilada replied as he punched him in the balls.

"Nothing like a good war crime, am I right buddy?"

Miku and Nipples passionately made out in front of Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers as Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers was rapidly passing away.

Miku stopped pouring water onto Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers' face for a moment. He didn't gasp for breath at all, just chortled some more and chucked a box of convenience store chili powder at his good pal Nipples.

"Where's Osama Bin Laden?" she interrogated.

"34°10′9.51″N 73°14′32.78″E," replied Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers.

"Nice, thanks," Miku replied as she continued to waterboard Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers. "He owes me $3."

"Oh, I see," said Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers as he was rapidly dying.

"What a stupid slut," Nipples replied as Miku slapped him right in the fist nipples. He wish he could have cum when she activated his sex organs, but alas, he lacked a sack.

"You are a useless pig. One day you will be executed and used for slop for your own kind, fuck bag," she told him. "Let's have sex."

Miku whipped out her massive fucking dong as she continued to waterboard Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers and shoved it into Nipples the Enchilada's aching yet yearning asshole.

"Thank you, Miku," Nipples the Enchilada said as she fucked him in the ass. Alas, he did not cum, as he lacked a sack.

"Silence," she replied. "You are a cum dumpster."

"I sure am!" Nipples enthusiastically exclaimed. "Boy, it's kinda chilly today, huh?"

Once they were done, they turned back to Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers, who had been getting waterboarded for two hours straight. It was a shock he was still alive.

"What's my Twitter password?" Nipples demanded.

Miku stopped waterboarding long enough for Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers to reply.

"Mikuhatsune420," he informed the red fuckbag known as Nipples.

Miku's hand shot to her heart in joy and lust as she gasped dramatically and giggled cutely. "Aww, thank you fuckwad. I always knew you loved me."

"I wish to pass away," Nipples replied casually. "And I love you too."

"I never said I loved you, Nipples-chan," Miku told him.

"Oh," replied Nipples.

"But I do, in fact, love you," she continued. "I simply do not know how to show my emotions in a healthy way."

Nipples' hand shot to his heart in joy and lust as he gasped dramatically and giggled cutely. "Thank you, Hatsune-chan. I still wish to pass away."

"Blugh ublgh," gurgled Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers through the severe waterboarding he was enduring. He was reluctant to interrupt this heartwarming moment, but his eagerness to spill more classified government secrets whilst being tortured was overwhelming.

Miku turned back to him. "What is the deepest, most desperate desire of my heart?"

She stopped waterboarding him for another moment.

"Why, for Nipples to top you and for him to be able to cum inside of you again," Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers told her.

"Fuck," she muttered, "how did you know?"

"Why didn't you just say so, Hatsune-chan?" Nipples whispered sensually. Before her startled eyes, Nipples exerted a mere fraction of his innate control over his own ballsack (or lack thereof) and grew a pair. It was truly a sight to behold as the smelly red sack reappeared under the poor four headed abomination Nipples called his chode.

Miku gasped as she saw Nipples' ballsack return to the void beneath his penis as she continued to waterboard Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers. All of her dreams were cumming true.

Nipples' four-headed penis suddenly shot to the ready. He was more than erect. Like his fist-nipples, it was rock-hard.

Miku turned around and lifted her skirt up as Nipples the Enchilada plunged his large, red cock into her exposed rectum. She felt filled up, a feeling that she had missed so dearly since their last time. He slammed into her relentlessly, feeling his sack slapping across her ass cheeks and her own sack.

He pulled her hair, his fist nipples practically rotating with lust as he yanked the turquoise bimbo's hair. Their dicks twitched in unison as the inner walls of her rectum felt every swift movement of the pounding. Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay just watched whilst rapidly dying, unable to keep an erection since The Big Accident That Shall Not Be Brought Up At The Green Bay Packers Meetings Anymore Of 1997. He did not care. In fact, he was okay with the crippling deformity he was left with. He felt it made him unique.

Soon enough, Nipples felt that familiar feeling of needing to bust his load. But this wasn't any load. The poor man had been essentially edging for 5 hours since the last time he got neutered (sack scalped), unable to withstand such a long time without letting out his baby batter all over Hatsune Miku's stinky colon walls.

He was going to destroy the poor woman's asshole. But she had been preparing since the last time they had 2-sacked sex.

Hatsune Miku felt Nipples fill her poor anus with leaky cummies, triggering her own tomato flavored dick yogurt to come spurting out onto the nearest jizz target, our dear friend Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers. He chortled, already used to having liquid all over his fucking face.

Hatsune Miku thanked him by farting hard enough to send the used seed back onto her lover's face and chest, sending ass particles and his own juices right back towards him. He knew she was satisfied if she smelled awful afterwards. Ah, to be young and in love.

"You have small penis, die in a fire," she told her loving boyfriend.

"I adore you and I wish I would pass away."

Nipples the Enchilada exhaled deeply. It was over. He had finally fucked Hatsune Miku in the ass, for the first time in the past five hours since he last lost his ball sack. Miku was satisfied like never before. Their penises hung limply as they passionately made out, and the afterglow dripped onto Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers' face, which was promptly washed away due to the fact that he was still getting brutally waterboarded, and he was enjoying every moment of it.

Finally, the two lovers pulled apart.

"You are a filthy communist, manlet, and one day your misery will consume what you call a heart and you will rot in a shallow grave," Miku told him. Nipples the Enchilada peed, sine he had just had sex. Always pee after sex.

Before Nipples could reply, a gruff, sexy voice sounded from behind them.

"Chaos control!"

Shadow the Hedgehog stepped out of a portal as everyone in the room turned to face him.

"Oh, hello Shadow the Hedgehog," Nipples the Enchilada casually said. "I am very unhappy to see you."

"I am here to consume your scrotum," Shadow informed Nipples.

"Oh, okay," Nipples replied. So Shadow vored his ballsack. Normally, vore turned him on, but alas, he lacked a sack once more.

His whole life was a mess. His wife and children left him for Silver the Hedgehog the night before his birthday. He was kicked out and was forced to drink various and probably dangerous liquids from a homeless man's asshole every night to survive. He was $970,001 in debt with the government. He even stole the seven Chaos Emeralds from Barack Obama. Now that his house burned to the ground, he had nothing left. His life was a fucking wreck, and all he had to show for it were his rock hard nipple fists.

During all the commotion, David Goldenberg passed away.

"Well, I guess that's that," Nipples commented.

"Please perish violently," replied Hatsune Miku with a cute autotuned chuckle. "Your life is meaningless and you have nothing left to lose."

Nipples looked her directly in the eyes. "I have you, my love!"

"Ok," she replied.

The two of them walked away into the sunset, hand in hand. As they rapidly disappeared into the distance, Miku reached into her virtual pocket and unlimbered a box of matches as well as a convenience store-grade carton of gasoline. She doused the prison, as well as the entire state of Rhode Island, in gasoline as she ignited the match and set it ablaze. The state of Rhode Island went up in smoke.

"This state deserves to burn like hellfire," Miku commented. "It is neither a road, nor an island."

"Wow, my love," Nipples said. "Your english has improved vastly in the past few hours!"

She looked Nipples directly in the eyes. "It's called learning, you stupid fucking dipshit."

Nipples cackled like he was getting electrocuted in his sack, but alas, he lacked a sack. "I didn't know AIs were advanced enough to learn. The future of robotics truly is terrifying."

"Ok," Miku replied.

The two of them hopped back into the Nipplesmobile and drove back to their home that they stole from the federal government in Holyoke, Massachusetts. The two of them faded into the sunset like they were straight out of a shitty cliche love film from the 70s. As they drove away, a lone, hearty chortle sounded from behind them.

Aaron Rodgers of the Green Bay Packers laid in the middle of the charred ruins of the state of Rhode Island, miraculously untouched by the flames of disaster that had devastated that land. This was because he was extremely soggy from getting waterboarded for three hours straight. He sat up and scoped the wasteland they used to call Rhode Island and nodded slowly, thinking about how life was good.

The air smelled like charred needles and burned STDs, typical Rhode Island stuff. He breathed in the sweet scent, taking it all in. Suddenly, he felt something stirring inside of him. Something so powerful that even he could not resist. The smell of Rhode Island was nearly too much for him to cope with. He opened his mouth and spoke his mind.

"Boy, it's kinda chilly today, huh?"


End file.
